An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

Discussion in 'Whatever' started by toothaction, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "First time I shroomed was to her set in Coachella."
     
  2. SaintOfSpinners

    SaintOfSpinners Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "A low to moderate chance of being murdered is fine with me."

    In regards to herping in Joshua Tree with a possible serial killer on the loose.
     
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  3. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper S7 Royalty

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I caught the reptile bug recently so I’d take the chance to go herping. :lol:

    “you’re sterile now dude”
    - anti-vax guy on Facebook insisting that the “population control vaccine” made me sterile.
     
  4. Waterbear

    Waterbear Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    My Uncle - Because of the new mandate I'm gonna get fired if I don't get vaccinated but fuck them I still won't do it!

    Me - Why not? You're overweight. You have high blood pressure. You smoke like you're a fucking ham and you drink like a sailor. Covid is gonna cook you like a sunlight cooks vampires.

    Uncle - I don't trust anything that's free so I'll take my chances.

    Me - The fuck? I've seen you at Costco. You scarf down free samples without even letting those old ladies tell you what they are. You ate a dog treat by accident twice. You sign up for every contest and giveaway and free sample you can get your hands on. You had your identity stolen twice. Now you have a problem with free?

    Uncle - Okay okay but I heard the vaccine can make you sterile.

    Me - That is totally not true at all and you're 63 fucking years old. The last time you thought you were going to have sex it turned out to be with a prostitute who was actually an undercover cop. The only way you'll ever reproduce is if an alien infects you and a baby alien bursts out of your fucking chest.

    Uncle - Respect your elders!

    Me - Be less stupid!
     
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  5. Mr. Humphreys

    Mr. Humphreys Mini Boss

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    :lol::lol::lol:
    That's hilarious! :)
     
  6. jl

    jl Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    no one has the chance to pick its family, but boy, you have been badly served I would say :D
     
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  7. Brooklyn_Vinyl

    Brooklyn_Vinyl Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I don’t think I’m an introvert, I just don’t like most people.
     
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  8. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Waitress- How so you want that steak cooked?

    Food ruiner- Well done.
     
  9. Roger

    Roger Prototype

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Did they also ask for ketchup?
     
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  10. Roger

    Roger Prototype

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Another one today, different person:

    "Do people still use skullbrain?"
     
  11. Brooklyn_Vinyl

    Brooklyn_Vinyl Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    No, don't bother going there, it's a desert.
     
  12. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper S7 Royalty

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    About a week ago on Facebook I encountered a mom of three that thought bacteria in poop morphs into parasites. I told her that spontaneous generation doesn’t happen. She asked me if I had done research.

    Every day I lose my will to live on this planet, take me away aliens
     
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  13. Roger

    Roger Prototype

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    If you take a dirty shirt and throw it into a grain bin, at least six rats will be generated from it. Everybody knows this.
     
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  14. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "I've been hitting the Zen hard lately."
     
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  15. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I stopped listening after that.
     

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