Thank you all for reading and commenting and sharing your experiences and advice (including those that PM'd)! Sorry it's taken some time for me to reply, but things have improved I definitely spent more the last 1-2 years due to a dramatic rise in income with overtime/bonuses/contracts at the hospital. I've bought several toys that were $1,000+ which was NOT normal, so I understand where my fiancée is coming from thinking that it's gotten "out of control." We did talk to our relationship counselor (who we've been using for a while now) and things have definitely gotten better. We are still going forward with the prenup and the "petty cash" account agreement. I probably should have also mentioned that she is an attorney...so I think she is much more concerned with the legal ramifications of marriage (and the always possible divorce) than most are . She is also a big saver while I am a big spender, but we both know we should be more moderate in our outlook towards money. We did have an agreement before we moved into our current house that the toys would be confined to my "toy room" (aka separate bedroom) and she has her own office so we each have our own room to do whatever with (in addition to the master and guest rooms). I do buy her some collectibles (she likes Harry Potter, Studio Ghibli, Sailor Moon, etc.) that she likes receiving but she doesn't really buy anything like that for herself. We still go back and forward about whether we want children... @xSuicide Squadx Collecting wasn't really an issue because she didn't have access to my bills/accounts to see how much I was actually spending; she could only see the amount of packages I received and the clutter growing in my toy room She started asking more recently about how much I've been spending and I was pretty honest with having spent thousands over the last few months which definitely shocked her The idea of joining our accounts (which she has been adamant about from the beginning, and she normally makes more than me) became scarier once she knew actual spending ranges @sharkbait She does find a lot of what I buy interesting, and even went on a trip with me to KaijuCult in Atlanta a few years ago. The whole thought about divorce is more about her wanting to account for every possibility legally and financially due to her job and views towards money. We have been seeing the relationship counselor semi-regularly and I think that has helped strengthen our relationship. @The Moog I was adamant that I won't ever stop collecting, as I've always been collecting something since I was a little kid (rocks/shells, Pokemon cards, KidRobot, etc.) and I currently buy sofubi, shirts, prints/art, Saucony shoes, and even vintage squeaks similar to yourself I'll have to scale back and maybe stop with the clothing (I have more than enough now as it is) and just buy a little sofubi a month @Horsefeathers I love shopping as well...browsing an antique/thrift store or just walking through Ikea or looking through Mandarake...I do need to get a better handle on my impulse buys as those add up quickly. I really need to stick with my long-term wants and save up for them! We do plan to share all our money except the "petty cash" accounts. We do see a counselor which is very helpful and we both are familiar with Dave Ramsey - I was able to pay down a large amount of credit card debt and my car (still student loans and our house left) and save quite a bit but definitely could have saved more @Geobukgan We have been writing out all our expenses and seeing where we can cut (aka combining media subscriptions). We are focusing on paying off more of the mortgage each month to get rid of PMI quicker and also putting enough in savings to retire earlier (her goal). I don't plan to retire before 60 because I think I would just be bored but we'll see...maybe just work part-time at that point? She wants the ability to travel without worrying about work. We definitely plan on regularly reviewing our budget, thanks for the advice! @moodydoom Yes, trust is definitely something that I brought up multiple times. I affirmed that I would stick to my petty cash amount and sell as needed if I wanted to make bigger purchases outside of that limit. I've also run out of space so maybe a purge is in the works soon...I agree on trying to cut the impulse purchases and focusing on the big long-term wants. And finding deals in person is definitely more rewarding than online, I just wish I was in an area with a major con like NY/CA. Maybe I'll try Megacon in Orlando again? @nico000 I don't think I could ever work in the same place as my significant other/spouse, let alone start a business together! I'm glad that you are still friends. My fiancée made a similar point about the money going towards collecting being better spent on us for things like vacations. She doesn't let me display anything in the living room bedsides some LEGO she begrudgingly allows @Brooklyn_Vinyl You are one of the lucky ones who has a spouse who tolerates toys displayed everywhere! We worked out an allowance of $200 each so far @JoeMan We are still on the fence about having children (she is 33 and I am almost 33) but I agree with your points @SstatusSkuo Yes, I would never put us in a hole financially due to collecting and that's mostly why I wanted to set a limit for myself with the separate account. I realized that Pokemon GO was sucking too much of my time/attention and was able to quit cold turkey after playing since the beginning which was reassuring to her that I do have some self control Congratulations on your daughter! @skaldavsatanssol Yes, I definitely don't want to sneak behind her back to buy more toys. I want this to remain a hobby and not become more like an addiction. A big problem is social media and comparing your own collection to those of others, and I need to focus on enjoying and appreciating what I have. I think starting to paint toys has helped me - it's almost like a form of meditation and there are always new colors to try and new techniques to experiment with @hellscrape Yes! Moderation in all things in life is important @hellointerloper I have given in on many other topics/disagreements but I will never give up on collecting @Mr Fox Yes, I think the financial planning has been challenging as we both didn't grow up with particularly much money and our parents don't have a lot saved in general. But thankfully general plans (like Dave Ramsey) and sites like Reddit help with things like paying off my CC debt and setting up my Roth IRA @Mr. Humphreys Yes, she is definitely the saver and I the spender I'm glad that you both were able to part with your own collections/belongings instead of having to sell for a settlement Sorry this ended up being so long! Thanks again everyone for the input
