The Moog

for a single man, i have an insane amount of cutlery.

(Q.) What do you call a cat in the desert? (A.) Sandy Claws.

I hate Twitter, it's like a State surveillance agency run by gullible volunteers. It's a Stasi for the Angry Birds generation - Stewart Lee

(Q.) What do dogs and trees have in common? (A.) Bark.

'Aggressive Nutmeg', 'Quizzical Fawn' and 'Haunted Muffin' - the spectrum of Brown by Howard Moon (Jazz Maverick).

"Ch4 is like a flood of sewage that comes unbidden into your home, where as E4 is like you constructed a sluice to let it in." - Stewart Lee

Very strong language, strong bloody violence, gore, sex, drug misuse. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

- oh, tiptoe from the garden - by the garden of the willow tree - and tiptoe through the tulips with me -

'An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do.' - Dylan Thomas

Welcome to the Museum of Everything - This is a reminder to the visitors of our Celtic exhibition - Scotland is closed - Due to bad weather.

"Of course, Lager. The only thing that can kill a Vindaloo." - Lister

"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour - you're gonna see some serious shit." - Dr. Emmett Brown

"This is a God-forsaken place Dennis. A barren wasteland of sand and rocks. It's a bit like living inside your head." - Beau Peep

- i know I ain't doing much - doing nothing means a lot to me - living on a shoestring - a fifty cent millionaire - open to charity -

Plum (symbolising purity), Cherry (mortality) or Maple (longevity).

“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it”. - Steven Wright

Well, its been dandy meeting you boys, but if I'm not out of here by sundown, the buzzards will be fighting the lizards for my gizzards.

Darkness drown out light, appear fiend of fact within my sight. Caveat emptor.

A blood black nothingness. A system of cells. Within cells interlinked. Within one stem. And dreadfully distinct. Against the dark.

Scored a rare boxed Ledraplastic pair 'Crich e Croch' cheap because they've been nibbled.

OK i admit it, i used to like the band Ozric Tentacles. Pungent Effulgent on repeat. Don't judge me, i was young.

Lost. One light blue blanket in the shape of a kite. Please return. Owner desperate.

"We're about to sail into a shit typhoon Randy, so we'd better haul in the jib before it gets covered with shit" - Jim Lahey

I think my Sofubi collection is defined as much by the toys i didn't score, as by the toys that i did score. Admittedly, I'm baked right now

Haribo Scaremix Blackcurrant & Bubblegum Vampire Hearts.